Thursday, August 19, 2010
back to school
With the fist day of school looming over the horizon, I should have a novel worth of words to describe the ever changing kaleidoscope of emotions I have. For starters, I have never been so excited about going to school; it has never been a place of friendship and first crushes for me. School was less than an institution for learning, and more of a boxing ring every fourth period gym class. As of this day, the sound of a whistle makes want to scream. Today, I am more confident than the 312 pound teenager from high school.
College is the most free spirited place I will probably ever encounter. There, no one gives a damn about who's wearing the flyest khicks, or the guy who walks with a switch in hips. Last semester I arrived to my 8am English late and standing before the entire class; wearing a white tank top with ketchup stains, shaggy ripped jeans, and a pair of sneakers with no designer logo stitched to them . That whole wardrobe is definite fashion faux pas in public school,and if worn to a pep rally or during lunch I would probably have to pack myself in a box and relocate to another country because the teasing will never cease.
My self-esteem wounds are finally healing from the piercing jokes about my weight and my period which made herself widely noticed on the back of my jeans during a school assembly. It was those moments of humiliation when I wanted to tear my flesh and become something other than human.