Thursday, August 19, 2010

back to school

   Due to constant procrastination and lack of ideas,  I purposely abandon my  blog. Carelessly  forgetting about those that take  the time out of their day to read about me navigating my way through  life.  My dearest apologies to all of you.

With the fist day of school looming over the horizon, I should have a  novel worth  of words to describe the  ever changing kaleidoscope of emotions I have.  For starters, I have never been so excited about going to school; it has never been a place of friendship and  first crushes for me. School was less than an institution for learning, and more of a boxing ring every  fourth period  gym class. As of this day, the sound of a whistle  makes want to scream.  Today, I am more confident than the  312 pound  teenager from high school.

College is the most free spirited place I will probably ever encounter. There, no one gives a damn about who's wearing the flyest khicks, or the guy who walks with a switch in hips.  Last semester I arrived  to my 8am English late and standing before the entire class; wearing a white tank top with ketchup stains, shaggy ripped jeans, and a pair of  sneakers with no designer logo stitched to them . That whole wardrobe is definite fashion faux pas  in public school,and  if   worn to a pep rally or during lunch  I would probably have to pack myself in a box and relocate to another country because the  teasing  will never cease.

My self-esteem wounds are finally healing from the piercing jokes about my weight and  my period which made herself widely noticed on the back of my jeans during a school assembly.  It was those moments of  humiliation when I wanted to tear my flesh and become something other than human.


  1. i know how you feel i need to heal from low self esteem and depression i like this post. :)

  2. It happens to the best of us.